WARNING -- Do Not Try This At Home!

Ok, so Eric's away for the weekend conducting a single soldier retreat and I'm getting time to do some things I've been needing or meaning to do but haven't gotten around to yet . . . liiike . . . waxing my armpits . . . at home. Don't look at me like that, I didn't say I was having a baby at home by myself--VBAC--or anything! Sheesh! Anyway, it can't be that bad, can it? I've had my eyebrows waxed before and lived to tell about it.

Honestly, I was doing some research because I have sensitive pits and actually started making my own deodorant awhile back--(rabbit trail) boy is it cheap to make for what they charge you in the store and what the commercially produced stuff REALLY does to ya! Anyway, that's a soapbox for another time. Back to the armpit waxing.

You have to let your hair grow to 1/4 inch in length for optimum results, or 21 days of growth, so the pamphlet says. Well, I wasn't about to get out a ruler and what woman could stand to let their pits go for 21 days, especially in this NC heat?! I don't even have an excessive amount of hair there to even worry about, but in my research I read that it's easier to wax and better for your pits then shaving since it removes the hair by the root, so why not, I'm going to try it, the less I have to shave the better!

Another thing the pamphlet says is to hold your hand close to the skin where you will be ripping off the wax strip, to provide stability to the area and ensure a good result. Ok, but how do they expect me to do that with one arm in the air so my armpit can be exposed? I wanted to follow the directions because I did NOT want to screw this up, but I could not see how it would be possible to make this happen. After trying a few precarious positions I figured my armpit would probably be taunt enough with my arm in the air to provide the desired effect. I applied the sticky wax strip as directed, I prepared myself for the pain, took a deep breath, and yanked! Hooollly crap!!! I'd be tempted to say worse, but this is a G-rated blog! AND half the hair is STILL where God intended it to be! I had to apply this whatever oil to remove the excess wax because of the sheer mass amount of wax still remaining on my pit. Had it not been for this tiny bottle of magic in the kit, my arm may have never been able to be raised once I put it down --which I wanted to do immediately, thinking it would somehow soothe the terrible feeling I was experiencing. As I ever-so gently apply the oil with a cotton ball I notice the cotton ball has little dots of red on it . . . blood! My blood! Now it hurts more than before.

I can't believe I just did that to myself. Maybe I'll just stick with using these hair removal strips on my blond uni-brow. It seemed to work well for that. Well, I had to do something since I couldn't put my arm down right away! The moral of this story is--don't wax yourself at home unless you have a trained professional in the house willing to do it for you!